A Backbone Made to Bend

        People tend to confuse submission with softness. They see a woman with a sharp tongue, strong opinions, and boundaries she refuses to apologize for, and they assume she couldn’t possibly be submissive. 

        

        Maybe that’s because they think submission means being quiet. Agreeable. Easy to handle. But I’ve never been any of those things. 

       Everyone else gets the backbone. They get the stubbornness. The sarcasm. The girl who will argue her point until she is blue in the face and stand between someone she loves and anyone who tries to hurt them. 

        He gets something different. Not because he demanded I become softer, because I trust him enough to let myself be.

        There is a side of me that doesn’t exist for everyone. The quiet underneath the defiance. The vulnerability underneath the attitude. The part of me that doesn’t need to be in control every second of every day.

        He knows exactly where that part of me lives, and somehow he always knows how to draw it out…

        It usually starts with something so small and innocent that I don’t even notice. A look, a change in his voice. The kind of quiet that makes me realize he’s no longer asking what I want. He’s waiting to see if I’ll give it to him. 

        He doesn’t have to break my resistance. He knows better than that. He simply gives me a reason to surrender it and when I finally do it’s never because I couldn’t say no, it’s because I didn’t want to.

                                        ……..

        We are walking through the forest after a long day, and I can feel his gaze flicking to me every once in a while. I ask why but get no response. So we continue walking in silence. Until he stops suddenly. 

        His face solid, calm, seemingly normal, but his eyes darken as a smirk plays at his lips. Sticks break underneath him as he shifts his weight, making a cracking sound echo through the trees slightly. He looks around at the canopy of trees on the edges of the clearing we stand in. 

        “Run” he says calmly, darkness dripping from each letter as they leave his lips. My shocked eyes meet his, and before I can think my feet take off. Dodging rocks on the ground and branches in the trees I try my best to look back and see him standing there calmly. He starts slowly walking towards me when he sees I’ve stopped. 

        That’s enough to send my feet flying again. I can hear him hot on my heels but don’t let it get to me. My giggles ring through the air as I dodge him reaching out to attempt to grab my hair. My lungs burn as I try to draw in a breath but I can’t let that stop me. Panting I keep pushing through the branches. My feet pounding against the earth as they carry me.

            As I get deeper into the woods the trees get harder to dodge, and the light doesn’t spill through as easily making it hard to see what’s at my feet. I trip and land on my front, catching myself with my hands. My wrists burn because of the angle they’re bent at, but I jump up rubbing my hands on my pants to rid them of the dirt and debris and continue pushing through the trees. I saw him when I fell. He’s gaining on me…

            Panic grips at my chest as I run, I can hear him getting closer. ‘This isn’t working’ I think to myself as I zig zag around trees. I turn to see how close he is but I’m met with nothing but more trees. I can hear his steps. Careful. Planned. They’re close. ‘How can I not see him?’ I wonder to myself just as something grips my ponytail from behind and pulls back. Spinning around as best I can, I am met with his face…Amusement written all over it. 

        “Goood girl” he coos to me as he smoothes my hair again. His hand moves to my jaw as he caresses my face. His eyes look warm now. Pleased with me. “You put up quite the fight babygirl” he says to me. “Too bad I can match that” he counters, a smile pulling at his lips. I whimper in his grip. 

        “I did what you asked” I say a touch of sass in my tone, just to egg him a bit further. “You told me to run, what did you expect? That I’d skip?” I joke and giggle under my breath. My eyes meet his again. He’s not laughing now, but he’s definitely pleased with himself. Ignoring my question he reaches into the pocket of his cargo pants. 

          He pulls out a pack of zip ties and a roll of duct tape from one. Facing me again he drops the pack of zip ties to the forest floor. He rips off a piece of the tape and places it directly over. My lips. Ripping another he puts this one above it overlapping the edges and does the same thing with another piece along the bottom of the first one. The bottom piece wraps underneath my chin slightly. He rips off another piece and puts that one starting in the middle of the others and curls it up my face covering my cheek. He does the same to the other side. Now I have a duct tape smile covering the bottom half of my face. There’s no way I will be able to argue with him. 

        Bending down he goes to pick up the pack of zip ties. ‘Not on my watch’ I think to myself and pus myself off the forest floor. Starting to run again now. With my mouth blocked it’s much harder to breathe. Rapid breaths leave my nose as I try to run again. I don’t make it far before a hand wraps around my wrist and pulls me down to the earth. He pushes my face down into the dirt as he straddles my back, putting his weight on me. I try to roll and kick but it’s no use. 

        I hear the familiar sound of the end of the zip tie going through the square part before I feel the thin plastic wrapped around my wrists and it’s pulled tight. One at a time he adds two more around both wrists. Grabbing my bent elbow he yanks me up until my face meets his again. I turn my head to look away but he grabs my chin. “Caught you…” he growls in my ear. “Despite what I assume were your best efforts” he adds with a dark chuckle. 

        Stumbling he leads me in a direction. He seems to know where he is going, but everything looks the same out here to me. ‘Are we going deeper or out?’ ‘Is he mad I ran or happy that I fought?’ ‘Was this a trap? Should I have stayed still?’ My mind races with all kinds of questions, and I think he notices, because he turns to look to me. 

        “You did good.” He says. “Now it’s time we have some fun” he adds and punctuates it with a shove. I stumble forward seeing ahead of me a field of flowers with a few odd trees littering the area. Walking over to one of the trees he motions for me to follow. Hesitantly I do. I meet him at the tree he stopped at and look up to see that he has looped some black rope through one of the higher branches. ”Don’t be scared” he says with a grin when his eyes meet mine again. My breathing comes raggedly but warmth pools in my stomach.

        He reaches down and grabs my restrained hands. Grabbing one end of the rope he loops it through the zip ties around my wrists and drops it. “Hold them over your head” he orders. I do as he says the blood instantly pooling in my forearms. He reaches over to the other side of the branch and grabs the other end of the rope. Pulling on it I feel my arms straighten above my head. A whimper escapes my lips when he tugs on the piece of rope again. My arms now taught above my head and my feet barely touching the forest floor. My heels have left but my toes can still touch.

           “Please” I beg behind the gag. Not even sure what I’m begging for at this point, but the warmth in my stomach has grown, I feel hollow inside. I need something. He has me wound up so tight literally and figuratively. I would do anything for a release right now. 

        “Shhhh, I’m just getting started babygirl, and you’re going to take it all, aren’t you?” He says as he tilts my head so it’s impossible for me to not look him in the eyes. I nod as best as I can as tears well in my eyes. ‘Not now’ I think to myself, determined not to let the tears fall. I can’t have him thinking he broke me so easily. 

        He takes a couple of steps back, his eyes never leaving my body. Scanning me up and down a wicked smile spreads across his face, finally meeting his eyes. Telling me he just got an idea, and I will either hate it or love it… Either way, I’m taking it.

        He opens the other cargo pocket and pulls out a cat tail flogger that he had wound into a circle to fit into his pocket. Unwinding it he swings it a couple times to get a feel for the weight of it and to watch my reaction as I heard the sound it made as it hit the forest floor. 

        Swinging he brings it down swiftly over my abdomen. It immediately leaves a red mark. I gasp in a breath at the impact and whimper behind the gag as the first tear falls down my face. He swings 5 more times, the redness spreading across my stomach and chest.

        My hands are starting to go numb from the position they’re in, I dig my nails into my palms as he swings again. It’s a solid thud, and then dissipates into warmth and tingling. Instinctively my body rounds in on itself with each hit, trying to limit the amount of skin exposed to him, but it’s no use.

        Once broken blood vessels start freckling my skin he pauses swinging. He walks so that he is in front of me now he stops to examine my body.

        I lift my toes from the forest floor, putting more strain on my wrists, and attempt to kick out towards him. Just as I think I’m about to make contact with his leg he reaches out and grabs my ankle. Pulling it towards him to make me fall into the restraints. 

        I scream into my gag as the zip ties cut into my wrist. “You brought that on yourself” he says, amusement written all over his face as he releases my ankle. “Don’t make me restrain those too, because I will” “Now, be a good girl and let me play with my toy” he says and grabs the whip again. 

        Whip in hand he walks towards me, grabbing my left hip he spins me 90 degrees so he can see my ass and back. Raising the whip he brings it down on my right cheek, harder than he was doing before. A strangled cry escapes my mouth but thankfully it’s muffled by the gag. Tears are flowing freely as he continuously smacks my ass with the whip. He doesn’t stop until he can see little beads of blood forming. “Thaaats it” he muses. “That’s what I want to see, bleed for me babygirl” he says while bending down. 

        His knees meet the earth as I writhe in my ropes. I try desperately to rub my thighs together, get some kind of sensation, the hunger is killing me. “Please” I try to say through the gag, but it’s no use. Suddenly I feel something warm and moist on my ass cheek, I attempt to spin and see what he is doing, just in time to see his tongue dart back out for more. ‘He’s licking the blood from my ass cheeks’ I think to myself in horror.

        Once he stands he spins me again to face him once more. “You did so good” he says. “I think someone deserves a reward” he tacks on as he reaches between my legs. “Fuck your so wet for me, you like being beaten till you bleed?” He asks mockingly “ I nod and my eyes meet his. “I want to hear you say it” he growls. Reaching for my face, he finds the end of one of the bottom layers of tape and rips it all off with one motion. 

        I cry out a bit due to the sting, he doesn’t give me time to react, immediately he grabs my chin and makes me look at him. “Say it” he demands. Fresh tears pour over my lashes but I will do anything to get off right now. A whimper escapes my lips and I lick them, preparing myself for what I’m about to admit. “I love when you beat me till I bleed” I manage to get out. Thankfully that’s enough for him, he pushes one finger into me, and then two. I moan as my body clenches around his fingers.

        He pulls them free with a grown and his hands go to his pants. Unzipping his cargo pants he pulls himself free while leaving them on. I whimper when I see how hard he is for me. He turns me around and grabs the adjusting end of the rope. He lowers me until my feet are flat again and then discards it. Pushing my feet apart with his he plants his feet on the inside of mine. He bends me at the waist and ready’s himself.

        Shoving all of himself inside at first, not giving me a chance to get used to his size. He starts fucking me ruthlessly. My body sways back and forth against the tree with his force. My fingernails dig into my skin again when I feel an orgasm building in the pits of my stomach. “Pleaaase” I beg, my voice unrecognizable. “Do it” he demands. “Cum all over my cock” he adds as every muscle in my body clenches. My vision darkens or I close my eyes, I’m unsure which but a scream leaves my mouth. He reaches around my body, clamping a hand over my mouth forcing his dick deeper into me as I do just as he said to, and cum all over him.

        He continues at a ruthless pace. His grunts and my whimpers fill the clearing and echo through the trees while he takes everything I have to give him. When another orgasm starts building I cry to myself, unable to stop it my body clenches around his dick again as spots dance around my vision, I turn my head to meet his eyes while I come undone around him. His eyes are dark. Almost like pits, sweat beads on his forehead and he reaches forward grasping both of my hips and slamming himself inside me over and over. I cum for a third time milking his dick as he comes inside me as well. 

        He pulls out and tucks himself back into his pants. I can feel our combined cum running down my legs and he just stands there, staring at me. “You’re so beautiful when you scream for me” he says looking at me lovingly as he takes a couple steps forward. He goes into one of the normal pockets of his cargo pants and pulls out a pocket knife. Reaching up he cuts the zip ties around my wrist with one fell swoop making me fall to the hard earth. 

        My fingers curl into the dirt, and I look up to meet his eyes. “Thank you, Fuck you, but thank you” I say with a smile. He helps me to my feet and holds me up as I stumble a bit, and we make our way out of the forest and home again. 

        Just like that, the chase is over. The ropes are gone. The adrenaline fades, and I’m left with that familiar feeling that I can never quite put into words.

        Because he never needed to take my back bone from me. He only needed to be the one I trusted to bend it enough for.

        Everyone else gets the woman who stands her ground. The woman who speaks her mind, protects her boundaries, and refuses to make herself smaller for anyone. 

        He gets the woman who chooses to surrender. And somehow that’s never made me feel smaller. It’s made me feel more like myself. 

        Maybe that’s what submission has always meant to me…not losing myself in someone else’s control, but trusting someone enough to let go of mine. 

        My backbone was never meant to be broken. Just bent, when I choose to bend it. And he is the only one I choose to bend it for.